It’s so weird that weed is legal here now, and you see billboards advertising it everywhere, and people smoking it everywhere. A total reversal of my teenage years, when my dad told me if he found weed in my room, he’d call the cops. (I didn’t hardly ever have any, but I did once sew my stash into the curtains).
Even more ironic considering I don’t smoke anymore.
And that’s true liberation. I was at the park for the sunset the other night and the people were passing around a joint. Just out in the open. Good for them.
It occurred to me that it’s been two years since I’ve smoked. (Then I remembered one time last September – okay, so almost a year). And I am finally at the point where I don’t desire it at all. I saw what they were doing, and smelled the smoke, and felt no compulsion. I just let it pass.
It’s funny, because I used to be a slave to it. Not that I was interested in drugs or crime — I just got to a point where I needed it to laugh, relax, and escape.
And it’s taken me ten years to get myself back from that place, from chronic usage morning, noon, and night. At times I’ve relapsed, and I had to smoke constantly for a week or a month. But I just kept letting go, and eventually, now, it’s gone.
The highest state you can really be doesn’t come from drugs. It comes from yourself, your spiritual attunement and development. As enjoyable as the sensation was, I still didn’t like the feeling of something else taking over my body and consciousness. I wanted to be happy just as I was. I wanted a life I didn’t have to escape from.
And that is the real work, and when you get there is the real high.
That’s not to say that I’m perfect or my life is perfect. But I am engaged with it now. I am accepting of myself. I no longer suppress myself to be accepted by others, which is another reason why I ever wanted to smoke in the first place. I desperately wanted to feel a sense of belonging with others.
Though I still desire human connection, I’ve upped my standards quite a bit. I don’t have a problem with these people smoking weed everywhere, but… they’re not my people. I’m not ever going to fit in there.
They’re voting Biden, wearing masks, and smoking weed in the open, and believing they are good people — all because the government says so.
It’s astounding to see the social conditioning in action, which I don’t doubt weed plays a part in. I noticed a long time ago, one of the turnoffs with weed is the hive mind it seems to plug you into. Everywhere you go, stoners are the same, with very few exceptions.
I also used to smoke with my brother, and the telepathy between us when we smoked was incredible. I remember one time a totally paranoid conspiracy theory came into my mind… and then my brother said it out loud. At that point I knew it was something dangerous.
But I also knew it when I could feel the harm being done to my body with the smoke, or the general sense that I was wasting my time and life. I was never going to go anywhere or do anything if every day was the same pleasant but numbed-out nothing.
Weed didn’t take me down the rabbit hole. Quitting it did. That’s when my life really started.
People who talk about the government “giving our freedoms back” have no idea what freedom is, and that they are never going to get it.
Social engineers know that humans are creatures of habit. For more than a year now, they’ve gotten you accustomed to being locked down, wearing masks. People are so used to it now that even when the mandates and restrictions are lifted… they’re still wearing masks (even outdoors). They’re not beating down the doors of restaurants. Places that used to be busy before the scamdemic are deserted now. That’s not coming back.
But enjoy smoking weed all day and doing nothing with your life, and call it freedom…